46. Secret Salad Dressing

Committed to avoiding the process server for as long as I could, I went straight to Palmer Square. Under the influence of the sun, I dozed off with a lofty cushion of grass under me. Jerked awake by a nervous pup’s bark, I quickly packed up my stuff so I could make it to Marty’s…

45. Fearful Fare

I dumped ten roughly chopped jalapenos and one #10 can of crushed tomatoes into a hotel pan of brown rice for 200 when an ominous electrical shock shot through my backside in the form of an email. It was from my neighbor and president of my condo association. “Hi Brooks, Please give me a call…

39. Distressing Dip

Marathon training was ramping up and Marty made a request to start eating better. With that in mind, on our next scheduled run, I arrived at his house armed with spinach and kale dip that was inspired by something that I got from Trader Joe’s. We could eat it as a post-run snack rather than…

32. Challenging Chili Verde

I was no longer wasted.. And I wasted no time moving on. Dwelling on a failed relationship would only lead to drinking over it so I quickly started laying the groundwork for a successful one: I made plans with Marty. He suggested we meet at Club Foot, the same bar where I went with Niall….

30. Sensitive Cinnamon Rolls

“Hello, beautiful woman,” he welcomed me. “You look so tired,” I said. “Yeah. I’ve been napping, working and napping.” I took the booze and cigarettes and set them down on the counter in the kitchen. Burton followed me into the kitchen and poured us two whiskeys. He swaddled me with his limbs as we collapsed…

22. Crestfallen Queso

I was whisking a roux for my Wednesday Alfredo sauce when I received an distressingly long text from Burton. “I went to the dermatologist today because I had a rash on my back and thighs that I was concerned about. I have insurance, so I don’t take any chances. Anyway, the doctor doesn’t know what it…

19. Precarious Pizza

The work week began again and, with the second job and spending boozy late nights with Burton, I was not well-rested. But I couldn’t resist the invitations to go out with him — even on school nights. I finished work in the early afternoon. By the time Burton was done with work, I was already…